if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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