Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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