you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
