Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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