I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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