omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
