What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
