Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
