if i can run in heels then i can drive
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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