man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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