I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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