New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
dude. I can hear the air.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
