OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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