so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
