I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
