Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
