i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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