I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
