We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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