i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
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She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
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Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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