If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
