He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
