i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
