grandma shit on top of the toilet
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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