Who did Billy Mays play for?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
