Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
