That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
