Will you blow on my dice?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
