Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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