But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
