he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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