Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
