She's JV to your varsity
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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