david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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