we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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