i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize