I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
