Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
