put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
