tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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