the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
