she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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