Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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