You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
