Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize