Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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