Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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