Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
