she woke up with a sticky ear
she smelled like a LAN party
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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