I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you will always have a special place in my vag
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
