I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
