I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
