I don't usually arrange sex via text message
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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