I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
