put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
