I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
