Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
