So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
