sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing