I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize