Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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