I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
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I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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