your room smells of hookers.
And success
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I currently don't understand fingers.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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