So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize